So I have “hacked” into Meghan’s blog site (note to oneself: do not leave your password sitting on the computer desk!) to celebrate her…and…marriage…
This week Meghan and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. I know, I know that’s a pretty miniscule amount of time when compared to those couples who have been together for a decade plus. But if I had thought 5 years ago that our life would look like it does today, you could accuse me of being a disbeliever.
In the 5 years we have been married, careers have changed, houses have been bought, families are splitting up, families are finding each other, dogs are always under our feet, kids have arrived – and are arriving. I’d be lying to you if I said I could have journeyed through all of this on my own without Meghan by my side.
I truly believe I won the lottery when it comes to my marriage and having Meghan as my soul mate. She is my voice of reason. She is gentle. She is a provider. She is an extraordinary mother. I find her dry sense of humor incredibly funny and I’d be hard pressed to find someone who dislikes her.
Thankfully, we live in a country where Meghan and I are legally permitted to marry. For this I am eternally grateful. And I’m not diminishing those who choose to stay in monogamous relationships without ever marrying, as I am sure those relationships are just as meaningful as mine is, regardless of whether or not it is legally classified by a piece of paper. The thing is, I LOVE being married. For me, it does set the bar higher to commit to a promise that we have made to one another.
Yes there are moments where communication breaks down and it seems we are working against each other more than we are working with one another. Sometimes it takes a while for the dust to settle, but if the investment is there, it eventually does. Ironically, I cherish these moments because they remind me that the both of us are human. It forces us to grow individually and that it takes work to get back on the same page. To dig deep and remind ourselves of why we fell in love in the first place. It’s choosing to bend instead of break. It is sharing moments of raw vulnerability and moments of undeniable happiness. It is about finding a balance between “giving” and “taking” and realizing that the true balance exists when the “giving” out weighs the “taking”. And then it is hearing Jason Mraz’s song “I won’t give up” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-4u9W-bns) and regardless of whom the lyrics were intended for, believing that song was written specifically for you and your wife and no one else because that is exactly how you feel.
All in all, it’s taking this platform of dedication and respect that you feel towards one another and then exemplifying those values in front of your children each and every day, understanding that some days you will slip up. It’s knowing whole-heartedly that as much as you love the other person, they love you back equally, similarities and differences included. It’s a shift in your mind when you realize that the “giving up” part isn’t even an option because that’s how much you value the promise that you made to each other 5 years ago.
And that to me is the beauty of marriage…because in the end, we ARE worth it!